Click here
It's all in
A-Wedding Day.
Ask The Experts
FREE Checklist
FREE Reminder Service
Social Security Application
Community
Articles
Customs & Traditions
Recipes
For Grooms
Theme Weddings
Craft Corner
Bridal Showers
Book Store
Bridal Shows
Remarriage & Kids
Artisan's Village
Archives
Cover Bride
Links
Planning
Tips
Kids
Shower Games
Contact A-Wedding Day:
nande@a-weddingday.com
Shop Hosting
Tell a Friend
Advertising Inquiries
|
|
JULY 2000 COVER BRIDE
VICTORIAN WEDDING FEATURE STORY
Nikki
February 26, 2000
|  I know I spent all our wedding planning time thinking to myself,
"This will be fantastic if
everything goes perfectly, but it'll still probably be beautiful if disaster strikes as well."
The
laughter & time we shared with our family & friends and most importantly each other far
surpassed any and all hopes & dreams I had about this special day. My only wish now is that
the beauty of this day will be eclipsed by the beautiful future & times we share together as
husband & wife in our new family together.
|
Our Wedding Day...
Our wedding day started out cold but sunny with high clouds. We all got ready with our
makeup & hair all in place by 9 (it really wasn't that hard for us to do ourselves and we had a
fun girl bonding time in my bathroom) and got to my church by 9:30.
After I got in my dress,
the photographer had Ryan turn away from the aisle and I walked up the side. He turned and
saw me (we did pictures before the ceremony) and I will never forget the look of amazement
in his eyes... and how his hand went to his heart shortly afterwards. He looked like he was
about ready to faint! We took loads of pictures, all nice & relaxed with our family & bridal
party, and I took sips of a strawberry banana smoothie with protein powder in it during
breaks (another good thing to have Mom bring, it helped a lot even though I had breakfast).
Then we went outside to take some pictures there and people were honking & waving at us, it
was so sweet. On the way back in, the flower girl (she's almost 9) handed me a card with her
cute writing saying 'you are as beautiful as a full-bloomed rose' with a drawing of a rose on it
that nearly made me cry.
We had about 40 minutes before the ceremony started to go into our respective dressing
rooms and relax a while. I mostly sat there and finished my smoothie and had a few bites of a
bagel while visiting with the various women who stopped in to wish me well beforehand. I
was very quiet for the most part, inside my mind I was silently & repeatedly thanking God for
the wonder of this day & the immense calm peace I felt in my heart. For all the bad choices &
decisions I had made without following God's guidance previously, I knew in my heart that
this was right & beautiful in His sight and I dedicated the entire day & our lives together as
soon-to-be husband & wife to Him.
Then it was time to line up for the processional. The ring bearer (he's 3) was standing by my
side with his heart-shaped pillow held like a shield and he refused to listen to suggestions that
he stand by the flower girl.. I think he thought he was my bodyguard or escort, it was
adorable! He got scared a bit and his dad ended up carrying him down the aisle which still
looked cute. He was a very good boy & nobody fussed at all during the ceremony.
My knees
were wobbly when I first started down the aisle (by myself) but that faded fast once I saw
everyone's smiling faces & the bridal party... and Ryan standing there beaming.
Ryan's mom's
corsage fell off when she sat down after I came in, but since we did all the pictures before the
ceremony that didn't hurt anything. What I did not realize until after seeing the proofs from
our photographer & talking with my bridesmaid was that the sun suddenly broke through the
clouds during the ceremony and the rays through the stained glass cast an almost angelic
glow on me. Ryan & I both were oblivious to pretty much everything except each other & our
minister!
The ceremony itself went without a hitch, except both our fingers had swelled a bit
from being nervous so our rings were a little tight but I think that almost always happens at
every wedding I've been to!
Words to live by....spoken during our wedding ceremony...
One of the comic strips Charles Shultz wrote is where his 'Peanuts' character, Lucy, is set up in her 'Psychiatric Help for 5 cents' booth and says to Charlie Brown 'Life is like a deck chair. Some face the past, some face the future and others face the present.' Charlie Brown replies by saying 'If life is like a deck chair, I can't even get mine opened!'.
The Scripture lesson we have chosen is like God's Little Instruction Book on how to get the deck chair of marriage opened.
Spoken in the Homily on our wedding day were these words:
There are essentially three simple instructions:
Remember Who You Are - the writer started off speaking of 'God's chosen ones, holy & beloved'. That is who you are, Ryan & Nicole, God's chosen ones. The convenant you enter into today is modeled after God's great covenant with humanity. The greatest love story every told is God's pursuit of His people to join with him. Jesus Christ freely chooses us and goes to the cross for us out of love.
Receive Grace - the Scripture says 'Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience; bear with one another, forgiving as the Lord forgave you.' Just as the Lord has forgiven us, so must we forgive each other unconditionally and with grace & love.
Be Gracious - the Scripture continues with 'Clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together'. All things like compassion, kindness, humility & patience are wonderful gifts, but love binds them together and love is truly the mortar of marriage. Remember to 'let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts', and experience the peace to which you are called.
Together, this is how we will open the deck chair of marriage, by knowing who we are, receiving grace & being gracious with one another. In a way, this lesson from Colossians advises us to keep our deck chair open & facing the present with the words 'and be thankful'.
We still have our lives apart as well as our life together.
We still have our separate ways to find as well as our way together.
But a marriage made in heaven is one where a man and a woman become more richly themselves together than the chances are either one of us could have become alone.
One of the first things Jesus & his disciples attended was a celebration, one of his first acts was changing the water into wine at the wedding in Cana. Perhaps it was his way of saying more or less the same thing: Be Thankful!
Our Vows...
"I, Ryan, take you, Nicole to be my wedded wife. I promise and covenant before God and these witnesses; to love you in integrity and honesty; in sickness and in health; to be faithful to you physically, emotionally and spiritually; to share my innermost thoughts, and respond lovingly to your innermost thoughts; to share in your moments of joy and support you sympathetically in your times of hardship; to encourage you daily in your walk with God; to put you before myself in thoughts and actions; and when I fail, I promise to ask God's forgiveness and yours."
"I, Nicole, take you, Ryan to be my wedded husband. I promise and covenant before God and these witnesses; to love you in integrity and honesty; in sickness and in health; to be faithful to you physically, emotionally and spiritually; to share my innermost thoughts, and respond lovingly to your innermost thoughts; to share in your moments of joy and support you sympathetically in your times of hardship; to encourage you daily in your walk with God; to put you before myself in thoughts and actions; and when I fail, I promise to ask God's forgiveness and yours."
Symbolism of our Candles...
Our mothers came up and lit one taper for each of us from the altar candles, symbolizing our individual lives & family backgrounds. We then took our candles and lit the center candle together, symbolizing the union of our lives in marriage. We let all three candles shine together as a symbol of our commitment to each other and an everlasting marriage.
I forgot to get my bouquet back from my maid of honor for the
recessional. It didn't dawn on me until I was halfway down the aisle but I don't think that
mattered much. We hugged, kissed & thanked everyone for coming to our wedding as they
left the sanctuary, and a little girl named Clare who is about 4 years old and a daughter of a
family I used to babysit for when I was 16 handed me a drawing of Ryan & I in our wedding
outfits with 'BY CLARE' written in her best printing... too adorable!
One bridesmaid was put to work bustling my dress (my aunt's boyfriend was absolutely
mystified by this and came up to my mom during the reception and said 'where did the train
go???' as did several others who asked me, it really didn't look like a bustle but more like a
really fancy ball gown). My bridesmaids packed up the ceremony flowers in their boxes
and we all went to the reception at the Space Needle.
Our Reception...
Our wedding reception was held at the Seattle Space Needle. By now it was cloudy, so we
immediately took some pictures of us & the Space Needle in the background, then went to
buy our tickets and got on the carousel, which I had been hoping for months that we would
be able to do ever since I first noticed it and looked into the possibility of having our
reception there to begin with.
We soon noticed that not only was our photographer taking pictures, but another lady we
didn't know was as well. It is hard to ride a carousel horse sidesaddle in a full gown while
holding on to a cascading bouquet with one hand & I nearly fell off several times but
managed to hang on tight. Afterwards, the lady gave us her business card and said she'd give
us prints, which I thought was really cool of her to do. I got one little mark of grease on my
dress, but it doesn't seem to show up in all the pictures of us at the reception that I've seen so
far and I know the cleaner will get it out so I didn't care. For some reason my mom thought I
would freak out when I learned because she came up to me and said in a hushed tone
something along the lines of 'Nicole, please don't panic but there's some dirt on your dress. I
looked, laughed and said 'oh well!'
The food, layout, service & view from the Space Needle was fantastic, and the cake looked
even better than we thought it would. When we walked in we both went 'ooooh'. We played
our own music that we had burned onto CDs instead of having a DJ because we knew this
wasn't exactly a dancing crowd but more of an eat, drink & talking bunch. Our friend
Elizabeth helped us out by switching CDs & we all tinkered with the volume from time to
time.
We had some time to ourselves to actually eat at first, then went around and socialized
before it came time for the toast. The best man gave a nice toast to us, wishing us health &
happiness and saying 'Ryan, you're lucky' to which Ryan raised his glass and said 'I know!'
but the one that made everyone go 'awww' was Ryan's to me, which is a poem we found that
goes:
The test of Gold is Fire
The test of Truth is Time
The test of God's love are the heavens above
and everything sublime
Treasures in life are many,
dreams realized but few
But I know the test of God's goodness
is when he gave me a wife like you.
That, of course, nearly made me bawl as well.
In keeping with our Victorian theme, we had
the bridesmaids pull out little silver charms from the bottom layer of the cake, they were of
things like the Eiffel tower (a life of travel), a rose (a life of beauty) & a claddaugh (a life of
love & good fortune, I think). I deliberately chose ones that wouldn't scare people like the
next to get married or have a baby.
We cut our cake, and fed each other a piece (no frosting
smudging!), then finished our piece together.
We had our first dance to 'Beautiful' by Smashing Pumpkins, the pictures show this huge grin
on my face and we even managed a few spins in there.. pretty amazing considering we never
have really danced together!
Soon after that, we did the bouquet toss. Elizabeth caught it.
she is engaged to be married in December 2000 yay! And the garter toss (Ryan's little brother
caught it and was embarrassed a bit, he's 14). Then we piled into the elevator to wander
around upstairs on the observation deck.
By now it was steadily raining, and I was incredibly thankful that the weather held out until
this moment since all outdoor pictures were done and we were planning on changing clothes
there to begin with!
Making tourists wonder about us was great fun, and we took a picture of
us holding a 'canned moose' (symbolic to me of living in the Northwest and our Alaska
honeymoon that's coming up in May). Then squished into a photo booth where we took a
picture of us kissing with a touristy 'Seattle Space Needle 2000' frame around it... it was so
much fun and some of the bridal party took pictures of us doing this as well that turned out great.
We went back down to our reception and began to wrap things up, pretty much everyone was
gone by 5 and we had no 'going away' scene because in reality we were just going back to
our house to enjoy a quiet evening alone. We're more comfortable there than anywhere else
so we didn't see much point in spending it at a hotel when we love our house. The catering
manager packed up so much food for us that we had plenty to eat not only for dinner but for
breakfast the next day as well!
Traditions...
Please visit the Customs & Traditions page at A-Wedding Day to read about the traditions we'd like to share with you that we followed on our wedding day. There is also an article I wrote there about our wedding flowers.
Come along with us as we share more highlights of our wedding with you on our web site.
Mr. & Mrs. Ryan Dettmar
 |
|
|
Products Available
At The
Shopping Plaza
Type here to search
The Shopping Plaza |
Webmaster for A-Wedding Day